I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
