its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
