i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
