Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
