She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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