I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
