yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
