what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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