I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
