didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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