Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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