yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize