Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
