what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize