Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
