An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
