Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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