WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
