After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
