I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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