You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
