Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
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