I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize