Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
