How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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