we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
