dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
