it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
