And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
