you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
