i barfeds in our rink
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
