Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
