she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
