whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize