Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
