Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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