NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
