If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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