he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
