I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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