Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
