My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
