I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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