My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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