Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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