we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
