I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
