Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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