yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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