Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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