I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize