I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
