i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm at about main and main street
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
