be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
