its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
