Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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