i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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