The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
