Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
