nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
