i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
